From the Heart

I've been out of the office for some mental health days.  I think it's important to take those - other wise you only skip work when you're sick and those days aren't any fun!

So I had a good talk with Janna - my counselor.  She told me what I already know, my anxiety about being a good/perfect wife and not do anything icky or un lady-like is through the roof and causing my stomach problems to be worse and my heart to be sad - because who wouldn't be sad when you never let yourself feel like you are good enough.  She told me something very important.  She asked me if I thought my job as a wife was to make Zeb happy.  I said yes.  She told me my job was to love him, he has to be in charge of his own happiness just like I have to be in charge of mine.  Food for thought I'm still mulling over.

Then I really was sick.... or thought I was... with a kidney infection.  I was walking around moaning to Zeb about how I'd gotten the infection deep within and holy cow my back has never hurt so bad.  Since I couldn't seem to get the doctor to call me with my blood test results we went in... wondering if it really was a kidney infection or if it was something else somehow related to my stomach problems.  Turns out it was neither.  He thinks I just hurt my back.  Grr..... and while he was dealing out unhelpful information he suggested I stop eating meat and see if my stomach feels better..... Well actually he said go eat steak and see if you get sick.

So off Zeb and I went to the chiropractor (who said I did in fact have inflammation in my back and would feel better by Monday after the adjustment) and then to Texas Roadhouse where I ate steak and then got horribly sick.  How sick you might ask?  Let's just say we ate at 7 and didn't get home until 9 because I was so scared for the car drive home....

So all in all I feel hopeful that my new forced upon me vegetarian ways may allow me to live a healthier feeling life.  One more test with steak tonight - then chicken the next, pork and fish tests to follow....