Jan 11, 2012

Ignored Promptings

Looking back on yesterday morning, I knew from the moment I woke up.  A little voice in my head said "don't go to work today."  I brushed it off because I think that every morning when the alarm goes off.  So I got up and I went.  I had a job interview at 2:30 I felt uneasy about.  But I still wasn't sure.  At lunch, the little voice came back - "Stay. Home.  Don't go back to work."  But again, I brushed it off.  By the end of the day, I was tired, bored, had canceled my interview and got an immature response back that bothered me but made me glad I hadn't interviewed..... I knew something now.  I'm not looking for a job I can progress up the corporate ladder in - although there is no doubt in my mind I could get myself way up there.  I want a job that will comfortably get my husband through the next two years of school and then I can quit and not look back and start my new job as a mother.  I felt calm and comfortable about my decision.  With a new found contentedness of my life path, and a curious thought as to why I would have needed to miss work to learn all that about myself, I finished up work and started packing up and getting ready to go to job number two.  That is when it happened.

The owner of the company, not my boss, is a loud outspoken, socially ackward man.  He was also packing up to leave.  He looked at me from across the office and yelled out from the common office space into the sanctuary that is my office (I stay in there and try to remain unnoticed)  "If you're late to work tomorrow, everyone will know it's because you're at home making love to your new husband."  I stared at him in shock!  Did he really just yell that out in front of everyone I work with (Note here, I am the only woman who works in the office).  Then, because he saw the look on my face he adds "But it's ok.... that's a good thing"  Ackwardly my co-workers look at me, no one knows what to say so they grunt - in disbelief, or laugh ackwardly.  By this time Frank is out the door, with no idea the damage he has just caused, and I come back with "Should we tell him I have a cold or just keep that between us?"  (Because I have been late to work the last two days) I walked out of the office to my car - waved to my new enemy as he drove off, got in my car and cried.  You see, I will be late to work tomorrow, in fact, I won't be coming in at all.  I have the day scheduled off of work anyway.  I have had the day off approved since before the first of the year.  But now, now I feel as if my missing work today is a big deal. 

I went home and wrote an email to my boss and the CEO about the unacceptable nature of the situation and comment.  The sexual harassment I felt because he never would have said anything about the love life of his male co-workers.  About how upset I was, and embarrassed, and how I need to report this situation to the HR department (which either A. We don't have one, or B. Is an outside company that does our payroll as well).  I don't know what will become of the situation.  I know I will continue to look for a new job, I know I don't want to work there a second longer - for either the embarrassment I feel or the backlash that will inevitably come from reporting the owner of the company to the HR department for sexual harassment.  I'm sad for the owner, that he is so dead to social acceptableness that this happened, and also - that it happened in front of every one of my co-workers so I feel obligated to not just let it slide.  (This is the last of many, many sexual comments he has made in the last few months.  The just usually are right up to the line - not crossing over it)

I knew it from the moment I woke up, I should have stayed home yesterday.