Nov 18, 2010

Decision Made

I had a very heartfelt talk with my momma this morning and it was just what I needed to hear.  I'm going to stay here and go to Thanksgiving with Zeb because that's what I really want to do.  But I was able to talk to my mom about how guilty I feel for being the only person who has left Oregon and I feel like it's my own fault I never get to see my family.  Not only has most of my family stayed in our little Oregon area, my brothers have both married girls from our own stake.  So EVERYONE's families are right there and I'm far away.  But she gave me a wonderful re-assurance that it's ok for me to not live in Oregon and my family doesn't think I'm trying to get away from them.  But really - I do feel so guilty I'm not going to be there.  I missed the baby blessing last month, two birthdays this month and the families thanksgiving celebration.  It's just really hard.  I don't want them to think I don't love them.... because I do so so much!  It's just hard to love two things equally and every now and then have them conflict and have to choose.  But I don't want anyone to get me wrong - I'm SO excited that Zeb invited me to thanksgiving and I've been counting down since he asked me in October :)  I'll have to remember to bring my camera this time for some pictures!