I've had a rough 12 hours. 12 hours you may say? Yes. Last night I went pants shopping. Which considering all that's gone on the last few days it's amazing I didn't have a break down further. First I had to change into my swimsuit not at my house.... at someone elses house - which resulted in my standing in front of a full length mirror stretch marks fully exposed, cellulite fully exposed, negative self talk running rampant. But I took a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom confidently and had a great evening in the hot tub! Then I did it all again the next day. Then last night I went pants shopping. None of the size 10 fit (which was a horrific sight in the mirror) and so I ran out grabbed the 12's and bought them praying they would fit. (Luckily they do). I didn't think much of it until I realized I was being a stick in the mud last night and Zeb kept asking me if I was ok and telling me he was worried about me. Finally he asked if I was feeling bad about myself and I realized I was and almost cried right then and there. Instead I just cried myself to sleep later. This morning I got to work and began my morning blog read. The second blog I looked at talked about "I am not my body" which is something we'd talked a lot about in counseling (not the project.... the idea). It was just what I needed to be reminded of this morning.
I am not my body. I am Lisa Davis, I have probably the best personality ever, many talents, smarts, and more love to give then some people even know exist. I may not be prefect, but no body is and I am not my body.
Have a great day everyone!