Mar 8, 2011

I am not my body

I've had a rough 12 hours.  12 hours you may say?  Yes.  Last night I went pants shopping.  Which considering all that's gone on the last few days it's amazing I didn't have a break down further.  First I had to change into my swimsuit not at my house.... at someone elses house - which resulted in my standing in front of a full length mirror stretch marks fully exposed, cellulite fully exposed, negative self talk running rampant.  But I took a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom confidently and had a great evening in the hot tub!  Then I did it all again the next day.  Then last night I went pants shopping.  None of the size 10 fit (which was a horrific sight in the mirror) and so I ran out grabbed the 12's and bought them praying they would fit.  (Luckily they do).  I didn't think much of it until I realized I was being a stick in the mud last night and Zeb kept asking me if I was ok and telling me he was worried about me.  Finally he asked if I was feeling bad about myself and I realized I was and almost cried right then and there.  Instead I just cried myself to sleep later.  This morning I got to work and began my morning blog read.  The second blog I looked at talked about "I am not my body" which is something we'd talked a lot about in counseling (not the project.... the idea).  It was just what I needed to be reminded of this morning.

I am not my body.  I am Lisa Davis, I have probably the best personality ever, many talents, smarts, and more love to give then some people even know exist.  I may not be prefect, but no body is and I am not my body.

Have a great day everyone!