Jul 27, 2012

Weekly weigh in

Today I'm pretty sad... I gained last week. 2 pounds. And the number doesn't even bother me as much as the fact that it was the weekly meeting marking my 3 month at weight watchers and all I have done is gain and loose the same stupid 5 pounds over and over again.

I guess I have some sort of mental block against getting into the 140's. That I'm scared to loose the weight and am holding myself back... I don't know. But I'm bothered by it, and I want it gone!

I don't know what needs to click to make it happen. It's annoying and upsetting and unnerving. Not to mention slightly silly.

The while reason I'm doing this is for myself - so when we are ready to have kids my body will be ready too.

I think at the root of it I'm scared to loose weight because I'm scared of failure and loosing weight and everyone says something and them I gain it all back plus 8 pounds. It's happened, many times, and I'm scared to let it happen again. They gaining it back, whatever, the plus more is my fear. Damn.