Thanks for your words of wisdom everyone, I'm so thankful to have such smart people following my blog!
I finally realized what it was that was sparking my feelings of innadequacy; it was *Mark - one of my co-workers. You know - the one who kept calling my wedding a "funeral" and laments about how horrible married life is about every other day. (Gee - I wonder if his wife finds it hard to be married to someone so down on his life all the time)
So when I walked into his office yesterday to talk to his assistant and he asked me "So, how's married life? You know that fluffy pink cloud is going to wear off any day now and real life will set in" I had the gumption to spit back "Mark, quit trying to ruin my marriage too" and walked out.
He walked into my office a few minutes later I think to apologize but instead he walked in, took a deep breath of air, looked out my blinds and then walked back. I felt empowered that I had stood up for myself and reflected on how it's no wonder that while working in an office of men going through divorces who constantly state they would never marry again or unhappily married men I am worried my husband might become unhappy.
This led to a wonderful conversation with Zeb where I told him about my conversation with *Mark and how I was really nervous about being a good wife because I have never been a wife before. And you'll never guess what, he asked me if he was a good husband (!?!?! wait, I'm not the only person with insecurities !?!?!) and re-assured me that he is happy and loves our life.
It's amazing what a good conversation can clear up!
*name changed to protect my work environment and prevent future harassment