Jun 10, 2013

15 Pounds

I have always had a weird phenonenom as I lost weight and my body began shrinking..... I can see the number on the scale going down, and see my clothes getting baggier, but in the mirror I see more fat and flab than ever, and especially in pictures!  I've talk to Zeb about this and I believe it's just something that happens to me in my mind and that I don't need to pay attention to it, and I can trust the number on the scale and the clothing on my body more than my mind and my eyes, because lets face it, my mind does tend to play tricks on me.  

I say I started my journey at 158 pounds, but truthfully - the scale said 160 a few times, and while it said 158 more often, I'm going to say I really started at 160 because that makes the math easier.  I am now weighing in regularly at 145 ish (depending on the day).  And oddly enough, I feel worse about myself than I did at 160!  Not all the time, but sometimes.  So 15 pounds, on a midget, that's quite a bit!    And I must say I am quite proud of myself!!!  I hasn't been easy, but truthfully I hasn't been too hard or miserable either.  My goal to weigh in the 130's is starting to look closer and closer!  

Here is what 15 pounds of weight loss looks like (the last 3 months at least):

 And more importantly here is what 15 pounds off my body feels like:

at 160 pounds I.....

Got married...
Had a LOT of stomach problems
My clothes were starting to not fit or flatter
My face was beautiful but round
I hated clothes shopping
I felt like my bum crack was always sticking out of my pants
I have lots of friends
I was tired All. The. Time
I felt smothered by my chest when I laid down to sleep
I have really bad acne
My shirts roll up a lot and I am always tugging at them
People are very nice to me, I never felt judged.

at 150 pounds I....

Some of my clothes are more flattering, they all fit
My face looks slimmer, but I still have a double chin
I have a lot more energy
I like that I don't focus on food as much
I enjoy clothing shopping more (but still not lots)
I have a higher confidence in my abilities
I manager stress by going on walks during my breaks at work
My acne goes back and forth between good and bad
I have better posture

at 140 pounds I......

Well I haven't hit that number yet, but I'll report when i get there!

I just feel that there is so much more going on than the number on the scale and wanted to stop and take notice of some of the other great benefits I have noticed of loosing weight.  I also like to look at picture of my face, I feel like I see a good amount of slimming there for sure!  My first real goal is 138, but after that I hope to settle in between 132 and 135.